I woke in my bed, soiled with sweat, piss and shit. I must have been out for quite awhile, days. I puked; empty as a bag of Fritos with a fat kid around. Haven’t puked like that since I stopped drinking, what a week the last time. I need a shower, no freaking water, god I stink. My mouth feels like it’s full of god damn dust and cat litter, used cat litter.
What the hell happened? Where is everyone? Everything is in ruins, nothing works, not the water, electricity, my damn phone. Burnt out buildings; cars, shit. My house is only one of two or so in the whole neighborhood that isn’t flat to the ground. The sky has a funny orange tint to it, darker in places, swirling, but diffidently orange. I wonder if it was from the fires. Smells weird out here, you can kind of taste it. A little metallic, like biting on an ol’ penny, coppery like.
It’s funny; I have no idea what day it is, maybe Sunday. I’d watch football all day if there was football, end my one week of sobriety in a big way.
I’ve decided to keep a record of my days. If anyone finds these writings they’ll have a good laugh. It would be nice to hear a little giggle. I think it’s going to be a long time before anyone makes a little chuckle, a little snort. I think seven days since I woke to this new world. Oh fucking lucky me.
Ghosts. I thought a saw a figure of a man dizzy in the over hot stagnate air of summer. I might just be seeing things, hoping for company, anyone, even a nut with a top hat and a lit candle coming out his ass would be welcome at this point. Haven’t seen a soul. I like to be alone, but this is a completely different kind alone. I don’t like it and it makes me feel all creeped out, jumpy I’d call it. Come to think of it, there are no birds either. Hadn’t really thought of that? I’ve been so wrapped up in moving, looking for something to eat, a drink of cool water. No dogs, cats, people. Now the birds. I use to like birds, fed them in my yard. Seems like an eternity ago, has it only been a few days? Fuck.
How time flies when you’re alone, filthy, slick with sweat, and sick with the shits. It feels like the endings of the flu. Is that where everyone went, Super flu. I’d just like to have a few answers. Where the hell is everyone? Silence but for the wind in the trees. Wait a minute, there’s no bodies either. You’d think there’d be bodies everywhere; this town has fifty five thousand and a few people in it. Oh and I haven’t swatted a single fly, mosquito or any bug for that matter. Nope nothing but orange sky, that funny smell.
I really have to work to keep my shit together, my mind is wandering. I think it’s the silence. It’s just not right, no sounds of trucks, cars, airplanes going over, not even a fucking fly buzzing around your head. A week or so and I’m starting to notice all the little things that are wrong. I’m getting real close to freaking the hell out.
What a night. The nightmares are getting bad. They started slow but now they’re a freight train running through my head every time I sleep or try to take a nap. Fuck, I’m dreading trying to sleep, but it’s what I really need right now, just some good sleep. I’m facing another day of walking, looking, trying to find where the world went. I’m tired and dehydrated, Fuck me.
Up at the crack of dawn. Reminds me of a joke I use to know. I’d die for a cup of coffee; die the death of a happy man. I just don’t think it’s gonna happen. I think I’m depressed. Fuck it, I’m depressed, dehydrated and I’m starving I gotta find something to eat…….. hahahaha, now that reminds me of a joke I use to know. Hahahhahah I’m drifting. Off I go, hip pity hop………….
Ahhhhh Seven Eleven, an oasis in the sun. Here I sit in desperation, tried to shit and only farted. God I can’t even remember the stupid jokes of my youth. Well at least I’ve got a bottle of nice hot coke. Most left in a soaring fountain of fuzz, but hell it’s wet and stale crackers are damn good. hahahahhaha.
I know I saw something; fleeting but something, bird, person or a damn ghost. God damn heat is so bad. I haven’t pissed in hours. Should have jacked a backpack, blanket, something to carry shit in. I could have had another hot, hot off the shelf coke.
Day Twenty Three (I think)
I’m not thinking straight anymore, I’m sick again my pants are caked with dried shit, can’t even smell the shit anymore, now that’s nice. Hahahahaha I found a good thing!
I think I’ve lost weight, the wife would like that. I wonder what happened to her.
Ditched the belt, to damn long, found me a nice little length of rope, now fall down you fucking pants. Shorts, now that’s an idea. Shitty shorts, perfect. Find shitty shorts, check.
Day Unknown (I have no idea, two three days, I think, more?)
I don’t think I can keep up with the writings, who fucking cares, who’s gonna read them?
I’m done. I can’t go any further………………. This is shit, why fight it, I’m just so tired. The shade here feels so good. I’ll just sit here a little longer. Enjoy the view, pencil a few thoughts, lay my head down rest a while.
I got me a friend. No gobs and gobs of little friends. Did I tell you…….. No I don’t think I did, I found the flies! There is life in them there hills………..hahahahah. I cut my leg a while back, fucking metal, thought I was gonna bleed to death. Yesterday? Two three days ago, a week no, oh it doesn’t matter much. Its nice having friends again, they buzz; crawl in-en out. Sometimes they land on my face, my nose. I can smell them. I can hear each and every one of them, little friends. Talk talk………. I cry, my tears are gone too, just like everything, gone. It’s time to sleep, I promise to write tomorrow, but I’m just so tired. Little friends, so nice, little friends………….. talk, talk, buzz, buzz.